For the past decade, I have chosen to write under a nom de plume for many reasons, most of them involved keeping my work and private life separate. Until about 6 months ago, I was employed at a company that required I speak publicly and write articles for publication on the internet under my given name. When I was released from employment in November of 2012, I began a journey of transformation in which I began to reevaluate what I really wanted from my life. Upon turning 50 in February, I realized that I really wanted to do something in my life that created a real impact in the lives of others. Psychologists actually have a term for that called "mid-life transition".
Carl Jung's interpretation is how I'd best describe it. He wrote about the stages through which this mid-life transition goes, and what we contemplate at this time:
As I searched for what I really wanted to accomplish from this time until I pass through the veil and on to whatever is after "death", I realized that I had come to a point where the name I had been given at birth no longer suited me.
My first name, Linda, had been a compromise between my parents. My father wanted to name me "Hildegarde", "Harriet" or "Gertrude" and my mother wanted to name me "Melissa", "Michelle" or "Kelly".. they literally argued over this throughout her pregnancy and through my birth. So, my father created a compromise. I would be named after my mother (first name), take on a middle name that was from his side of the family (a family last name) and of course, the last name would be theirs. My parents divorced when I was 3 1/2 years old, and my father was mostly absent from my life. He has stated on several occasions that he was never meant to be a parent. My siblings and I will attest that my mother was also in that category, even if she refuses to admit it.
My sister came along less than a year after my birth, and looked exactly like my mother. Throughout my childhood, people would comment that I received the wrong name... my sister should have been named after my mother instead of me. I was always called "Little Linda" as the distinction between me and my mother, and of course, she was called "Big Linda" which she always hated. Once I grew taller than her, she began to make comments that I should now be called "Big Linda" (neither of us was ever obese, but that's how she took the term 'big'). My middle and last name (maiden) never really fit either. People were always joking that I was the milkman's kid, because I didn't really look like any of them.
I married twice and both times, I was way too young. The first last 10 months, the second 7 1/2 years. I kept the second last name for the sake of my three youngest children. They're all grown up now, and they really don't care what name I have. All of my children have said, "We call you, 'Mom', so it doesn't matter to us".
During my conversion to Judaism experience (which I did not complete. For those in the know, I got to the point of Beit Din and then chose not to go through with it. I felt it was best to honor my ancestors rather than become a Jew), I chose a Hebrew name: Eliyana. It was a nice name, but since I didn't go through with it, it just wasn't me.
Further on in my journey, I found my path- Paganism. Of course, most of you are aware of choosing a "magical name" or having one given to you. I was a member of a group in which I was given a name, but it just didn't quite seem to fit me, but it was at least chosen with thoughtfulness and love.Our group broke up, and I shed that name as well.
After I became a solitary, I wanted to write and socialize online, so I spent time researching names, like I had done when I chose them for my children. I also wanted to honor my ancestors, as this is something that resonates strongly with me. I started looking into Irish Gaelic for my pen name. Kallan means "strong in battle" and I've led a life that required that of me. Kennedy is actually my mother's maiden name, so I was able to honor my grandfather in that way, and it means "head of the clan", which is what I am in my family. I've tried very hard to live up to the name I gave myself, and I wanted to bring honor to it. My friends/family have assured me that this is the case.
I began researching what it would take then to change my name legally in my state, and have begun the process of doing just that. By the end of the summer, my legal name will be Kallan Bradbury Kennedy. As some of you may recall, my ancestor on my father's side is John Bradbury, a Scottish Botanist and Explorer in the Americas in the 1800's. My father's middle name (which he uses as his first name) is Bradbury. So, in this way, while I am changing my name, I am still able to bring honor to both lines of my heritage, and be able to live with a name that isn't built upon compromise, but upon a careful, conscious choice.
It will also help me to have one name as I launch into a new direction and business model in my life. Very shortly, I'll be sharing that with you, and asking for your input as well. Per state law, I've formally announced to my friends and family my intention to legally change my name, and I cannot fully express in words how 'right' this feels.
There is a quote in the bible that I truly love. It says, " A good name is rather to be chosen than fine riches..." (Proverbs 22).
I couldn't agree more.
Carl Jung's interpretation is how I'd best describe it. He wrote about the stages through which this mid-life transition goes, and what we contemplate at this time:
- Accommodation—presenting ourselves as different people ("personae") based on our situation
- Separation—removing the personae we wear in different situations and assessing who we are underneath; rejecting your personae, even if only temporarily
- Reintegration—feeling more certain of your true identity and adopting more appropriate personae
- Individuation—recognizing and integrating the conflicts that exist within us, and achieving a balance between them
As I searched for what I really wanted to accomplish from this time until I pass through the veil and on to whatever is after "death", I realized that I had come to a point where the name I had been given at birth no longer suited me.
My first name, Linda, had been a compromise between my parents. My father wanted to name me "Hildegarde", "Harriet" or "Gertrude" and my mother wanted to name me "Melissa", "Michelle" or "Kelly".. they literally argued over this throughout her pregnancy and through my birth. So, my father created a compromise. I would be named after my mother (first name), take on a middle name that was from his side of the family (a family last name) and of course, the last name would be theirs. My parents divorced when I was 3 1/2 years old, and my father was mostly absent from my life. He has stated on several occasions that he was never meant to be a parent. My siblings and I will attest that my mother was also in that category, even if she refuses to admit it.
My sister came along less than a year after my birth, and looked exactly like my mother. Throughout my childhood, people would comment that I received the wrong name... my sister should have been named after my mother instead of me. I was always called "Little Linda" as the distinction between me and my mother, and of course, she was called "Big Linda" which she always hated. Once I grew taller than her, she began to make comments that I should now be called "Big Linda" (neither of us was ever obese, but that's how she took the term 'big'). My middle and last name (maiden) never really fit either. People were always joking that I was the milkman's kid, because I didn't really look like any of them.
I married twice and both times, I was way too young. The first last 10 months, the second 7 1/2 years. I kept the second last name for the sake of my three youngest children. They're all grown up now, and they really don't care what name I have. All of my children have said, "We call you, 'Mom', so it doesn't matter to us".
During my conversion to Judaism experience (which I did not complete. For those in the know, I got to the point of Beit Din and then chose not to go through with it. I felt it was best to honor my ancestors rather than become a Jew), I chose a Hebrew name: Eliyana. It was a nice name, but since I didn't go through with it, it just wasn't me.
Further on in my journey, I found my path- Paganism. Of course, most of you are aware of choosing a "magical name" or having one given to you. I was a member of a group in which I was given a name, but it just didn't quite seem to fit me, but it was at least chosen with thoughtfulness and love.Our group broke up, and I shed that name as well.
After I became a solitary, I wanted to write and socialize online, so I spent time researching names, like I had done when I chose them for my children. I also wanted to honor my ancestors, as this is something that resonates strongly with me. I started looking into Irish Gaelic for my pen name. Kallan means "strong in battle" and I've led a life that required that of me. Kennedy is actually my mother's maiden name, so I was able to honor my grandfather in that way, and it means "head of the clan", which is what I am in my family. I've tried very hard to live up to the name I gave myself, and I wanted to bring honor to it. My friends/family have assured me that this is the case.
I began researching what it would take then to change my name legally in my state, and have begun the process of doing just that. By the end of the summer, my legal name will be Kallan Bradbury Kennedy. As some of you may recall, my ancestor on my father's side is John Bradbury, a Scottish Botanist and Explorer in the Americas in the 1800's. My father's middle name (which he uses as his first name) is Bradbury. So, in this way, while I am changing my name, I am still able to bring honor to both lines of my heritage, and be able to live with a name that isn't built upon compromise, but upon a careful, conscious choice.
It will also help me to have one name as I launch into a new direction and business model in my life. Very shortly, I'll be sharing that with you, and asking for your input as well. Per state law, I've formally announced to my friends and family my intention to legally change my name, and I cannot fully express in words how 'right' this feels.
There is a quote in the bible that I truly love. It says, " A good name is rather to be chosen than fine riches..." (Proverbs 22).
I couldn't agree more.