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| Art by klarem |
Henry Rollins (former rock star, outspoken activist, writer, artist) posted a profound blog in which he addresses the societal issues that create the kind of atmosphere where boys like this rape a young girl, treat her as if she's an object, and even post pictures of this as its happening, laughing all the way.
Here is the link. I highly recommend reading it.
Perhaps you're wondering why I'm addressing it, given the vast coverage and opinion out there right now. Because Henry Rollins brought up something in this article that touches on something near to me. In that article, he recommends watching a movie entitled, "The Invisible War", which is about sexual assault in the military. And, this is a perfect example of why it isn't just our young people today.
I served in the military in the early 1980's, and I loved it. I was on what was known as "The Delayed Entry" program, where I had to wait to get in until billets (specific jobs) were opened up. I also joined up using the buddy system, in which me and my best buddy could go into basic training together. Our recruiter was a guy named "Charlie", and while we were on delayed-entry, we'd have to go to meetings at the recruiting station each month. Charlie had access to all our information. He was a pretty nice guy, all american type, pretty quiet, but nice.
Charlie got drunk one night and showed up at our apartment at 3am. We let him in, and he proceeded to tell both of us that he was in love with us and wanted to have a threesome. My best friend laughed, but I was appalled. We got him out of there, and I reported him to his superiors. We were then assigned to a new recruiter, after Charlie profusely apologized (he was never formally reprimanded). Jerry was fun, nice and older than Charlie, and seemed much more mature. From there, we had no issues until we went to bootcamp.
In bootcamp, the men and women were separated, so there wasn't much in the way of interaction, and frankly, we were so focused on just surviving it that no one even really thought about talking to each other. Toward the end of bootcamp, we were rewarded with a get-away weekend, so a bunch of us pooled our money and got one hotel room for the entire three days. Since we had to alternate duty days, each person would get two days there, and it worked out nicely.
My best friend chose to only spend one of those days there. She decided she wanted to see the town instead. Cabs were always available just outside the base, so it was easy to get around in Orlando. But, as my friend went to get a cab, a group of fellow sailors pulled up and asked if she needed a ride. She accepted, and off they went. They asked if she minded if they took a quick detour to one of the officer's houses to drop something off. She said she didn't, and they stopped for a few minutes.
At first, she stayed in the car, but they came out and waved her a welcome to come in. She did, and the officer was in the home. To make a long story short, the officer and the fellow sailors took turns raping my friend for several hours and then dumped her off at the base with a warning that if she told anyone in authority about it, she would be kicked out of the navy in disgrace. She kept it to herself for several weeks, and then finally confided in me with the caveat that I not tell anyone. It was a terrifying experience for her, and it scarred her on many levels.
In the military, we're taught to trust our fellow servicemen/women.. our lives may someday depend on that trust. Hers was shattered, and she never got over it. I wish I could tell you that her story was atypical, but in my time in service, my friend's story was more the norm than not. No, I was never the victim of rape, thankfully. But, for my friends and fellow service-women, this was one of the dangers of serving in the military- being attacked by your own people.
We stayed in packs when we went out. We never got into cars with male service members. We ensured when we had duty, that there was another female around. The problem was prevalent 30 years ago, and the "good old boy" network kept it under wraps, and because we wanted to serve our country, we were complicit in our silence. We were threatened on many occasions because the men didn't want us serving there. To them, we were just someone taking up a shore-duty billet that kept them out to sea longer. We were less than them, less than human to many of them. And, this is the problem in our society.
Women are objects, not humans. Women are somehow "less-than". We are portrayed in the media and particularly in marketing as a thing used to sell sex... because, sex sells. How is a scantily clad woman somehow associated with a sportscar? beer? chips? a telephone service?
This young woman in Steubenville was treated as a thing, not a person with feelings or deserving or sympathy and respect. Because she was intoxicated, she was blamed- just like we women were in the military. The guys who raped my friend told her it was her fault for getting in the car with strangers, even though we'd just been "brainwashed" into believing we could trust our fellow sailors. We were blamed (and still are) for not being safe, for the clothing we wear that allegedly provokes rape, for being out on the streets at night. For daring to be human and thinking we could be as good as men.
Golda Meir, former kickass prime minister of Israel, when Israel was experiencing an epidemic of violent rapes, someone at a cabinet meeting suggested women be put under curfew until the rapists were caught, Meir retorted, “Men are committing the rapes. Let them be put under curfew.”
You see, it isn't just the young people. Golda Meir served as PM from 1969 to 1974, and died in 1978. This has been going on for much longer, and is much more deeply entrenched in our society than we want to believe. Women are objectified, treated as less than, given little respect on many levels. We work twice as hard for 75% of the same pay as a man. If a man rules with a strong hand, he's lauded for it. If a woman does the same thing, she's a "bitch". This isn't happening in just some parts of the world. It's here at home, too.
Even those who claim to support us minimize us. "Think of your own wife, daughter, sister.. " Why? Why do you have to personalize it by female family members to know it's wrong? We're HUMANS.
Think of YOURSELF and how you would feel if you were the victim, damnit! You drank too much (or even if you didn't.. what if you took medication that made you drowsy or incapacitated you in some way?) and couldn't think straight or passed out. While you were out of it, you were raped, taunted, pictures of you being assaulted were broadcast all over the internet.. people around you did nothing to help and in fact uploaded some of those pictures themselves.. all the while laughing at you. The media expresses sympathy for your attackers, and blames you for drinking too much, taking that medication, or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. How does THAT feel?
Until we as a society stop complying with the idea that women are nothing more than sex objects, or weaker, dumber and less deserving of respect than men, this will continue. This incident in Steubenville isn't new or different. It's just what we keep allowing every day. Our silence is complicity, and until we actively speak out with our wallets, our ways and our words, we'll keep perpetuating this through each generation.