I remember when I was reading up on Cherokee spirituality, I found an interesting concept in which you can allow the negativity to flow around you, but not within you. It's about protecting yourself from the negativity. Remembering that you have a choice as to whether this affects you or not. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Using that same logic, no one can make you feel negative without your consent, either. You control how you feel, even if it seems like someone is going out of his/her way to push your buttons. You can turn the buttons off :)
"Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
We take things personally when we agree with what others have said. If we didn't agree, the things that others say would not affect us emotionally. If we did not care about what others think about us, their words or behavior could not affect us.
Even if someone yells at you, gossips about you, harms you or yours, it still is not about you! Their actions and words are based on what they believe in their personal dream.
Our personal “Book of Law” and belief system makes us feel safe. When people have beliefs that are different from our own, we get scared, defend ourselves, and impose our point of view on others. If someone gets angry with us it is because our belief system is challenging their belief system and they get scared. They need to defend their point of view. Why become angry, create conflict, and expend energy arguing when you are aware of this?"
Value yourself and your own emotions. So many of us (especially females) are taught to put ourselves behind everyone else.. our own well-being (physically, spiritually, emotionally). You should be your own best friend. What would you tell your best friend to do? Now, go do that.
Dr. Wayne Dyer once said that he recorded a voice mail message that said (and I'm paraphrasing as it's been awhile), "It is my intention to have a wonderful, positive day. If your message intends anything but that for me, please hang up immediately".
Protect yourself and only worry about your own emotional state. You cannot control the emotional state of others. It truly is a choice. Choose to remain positive, regardless of the negativity around you. That may sound difficult, but it's really much easier to do than you may believe.
Walk away. If you feel yourself being dragged into the negative emotions of others, then it's time to go have some alone-time, meditate, listen to music that brings you joy, read a book that uplifts you, watch a silly tv program that makes you happy, log off of the internet, etc... you'll be amazed at how quickly that black cloud dissipates once you've extracted yourself from that situation.
Call a positive friend. Talk about your goals, dreams, things that make you happy and motivate you. State your intention to the Universe/God(s)/Mystery (whatever you want to name it) or to yourself (if you don't have a belief in a higher being/power).
The truth is, you control your destiny much more than you may want to believe. I love the poem by Marianne Williamson (from her book, A Return to Love):
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.'
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Be powerful today. Take control and shine your light so that others may do the same. Enthusiasm is contagious. Own this day, this week, this month, this year. It is your life. Live it with expressed joy.
I feel better already :)
Sláinte,
Kallan