In January, I remember struggling with feeling really out of sorts, and trying not to rant.
February's theme seemed to be understanding cyber relationships of all sorts. And, of course, reading the Hunger Games books for the first time.
March was really about finding my authentic voice.
April was the beginning of a pretty painful, if not expensive lesson in friendship and listening to my intuition. You'd think after trying to find my authenticity, I'd be more aware, but it took this experience to teach me about how much to invest in a friendship before you just have to let it go.
I invested $500.00 of my hard-earned money (not to mention influence, as I encouraged friends to invest as well) in a kick-starter project for someone I thought was becoming a close friend. To this day, there is nothing to show for my kindness, money and efforts. I was swindled, plain and simple. But, this was just the beginning of that lesson. At this point, I didn't know what was about to hit me.
April was also the month I wrote a small tribute to Hitch (Christopher Hitchens). He was a brilliant mind, engaging speaker and terrific writer. I still miss him.
May brought me Beltane, vacation, AlmaMia Cienfuegos by my beloved Magaly Guerrero, Magdalene by Ly De Angeles (fav author of all time), and some contemplations about things like IPCOD (International Pagan Coming Out Day) and marriage. It was also where I really began seriously contemplating leaving my job. My work BFF had been fired (trumped up charges), the culture was rapidly going downhill, and I was working long hours that did nothing to edify me whatsoever. This really was the beginning of me wanting to make some serious changes in my life.
June was extremely busy for me at work. I traveled every week of that month, and didn't get a chance to honor Mid-summer Solstice like I wanted. It is also where I reluctantly agreed to allow the friend-who-really-wasn't to come up in July and stay with me and my family for three weeks. My intuition told me it was a mistake, and I tried to gracefully suggest that it might not be a good idea, but he was insistent that it would be good for him. And, I relented.
July was where things got ugly. This person came to visit, and while I'll spare most of the details, let's just say his manners seemed to leave themselves at home. I have never in my life had such a rude, uncouth, un-hygienic house guest in my life.
I promptly deleted him from all of my accounts and decided it would be best if I just chalk that up to a lesson learned. I had a feeling he would bad-mouth me to mutual friends.. I even told him I knew he would. He swore that would not happen, but I'd seen him badmouth his very best friend in the world; received FB msgs from him making fun of bloggers and writers, etc... so, I was skeptical about him keeping his word.Unfortunately, I was right to be skeptical..this would come back to haunt me soon enough.
It was also in July that the idea for Samhain's Sirens came to me.. and that has proven to be one of the best ideas I ever had :)
August- A mixed bag.. Mercury Rx wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great, either. The good? Kestril Trueseeker joined the Sunday Stew preparation crew :) I had to travel for work, and found I was really wearying of that. I was ready for the Fall Equinox already. Samhain's Sirens begins to form here and the planning begins.
September brought good things.. The Sirens began putting plans into action and the Autumnal Equinox arrived. A sisterhood began forming right there.
October- crazy month. We began the month-long Samhain's Sirens extravaganza, and on day 1 someone began attacking us for a pancake recipe we posted. What was interesting about that recipe is that the person laying claim to its copyright was not the original creator of the recipe and there is no way to truly copyright a list of ingredients. As the rumor-mill began running rampant, somehow it became an "attack Kallan" campaign. Of course, the friend-that-wasn't joined in on the festivities and even posted blatant lies about me on his Facebook page. When I confronted him in email, he backed down. While the immature former friends of mine who incited and perpetuated it gleefully rejoiced and behaved as mean girls do, my beautiful Siren friends showed me love, support, loyalty, kindness and friendship, the likes of which most people will never see in a lifetime. The little crusade to destroy us only made us stronger and forged a bond which is, today, stronger than ever.
We made it through and those who participated loved it. We couldn't believe how many 'thank yous' and compliments we received during and after. We all agreed we wanted to do it again next year... if the gods are willing and the creek don't rise ;)
I also had the very sincere privilege of participating in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in honor of my friend Lisa's mom and grandmother.
Samhain was very special, and really helped me ground from the year of insanity I'd experienced thus far.
November- Mercury goes Rx, we re-elect our President and the very next day, I am laid off from employment. To say it was an eventful week would be the understatement of the year. It was good though. Instead of crying in my Smithwicks, I chose to take it as a nudge from the Universe that I ain't gettin any younger, and it's time to start living life the way I want, rather than by what everyone else wants for me. So, I enrolled in school and am taking each day one at a time. It was wonderful.
Thanksgiving was terrific and I had a lot to be grateful for.
December- Busy month with the holidays.. but really a good one. I was able to get registered for college, apply for a scholarship and receive it. It pays 99% of my tuition for the semester. I also had time to reflect, organize and spend time with friends/family. As the year winds down, it's been very healing for me.
So, what are my 2012 Take-aways?
It is not enough to listen to one's intuition. Heeding it is most important.
Beware the tongue that shares its secrets too freely; its motivations are usually quite nefarious.
Bitterness is for sissies. Only the strong can understand, release and move on.
Being in the moment and being completely true to one's self is the highest and best calling there is.
Friends and true family are worth more than all the treasures in the world.
Pettiness comes in many forms. Don't be reduced to it, no matter how great the temptation.
A clever quip made in anger only damages one's own integrity.
Service to someone is a greater honor than to the one being served; and should be treated as such.
A great idea is made perfect when its enactment is equally shared.
Live like you mean it, every day.
So, with that, I'll be thanking 2012 for those lessons, and preparing my goals for 2013.
Any lessons you'd like to share?
Don't forget, the last full moon of 2012 is tomorrow at 5:21am EST.