Here's what happened in a nutshell: I was tagged by a friend in a post that she didn't write, but wanted me to check out. It seemed that an elder in Salem was being attacked by someone, and needed assistance. The attack on her was pretty vile- lots of cursing her, wishing bad things upon her and name-calling. Well, being that I'd literally just posted to my wall about how our community needs to respect those who are older and wiser, I felt like I just had to jump in and defend the woman.
And, jump I did. I posted a rant about how I was sick of the "attacker" going after folks and the community just allowing it, and that I was going to unfriend anyone who had anything to do with him, blah blah blah... and then a private message shows up from Christian Day saying, "Call me". So, I did.
Christian then explained the whole story to me. The person who I thought had been victimized was actually the attacker. She's been creating Facebook pages to attack people like Laurie Cabot, Christian, Lori Bruno, and Raven Grimassi. The person who wrote the vile attack on her was actually defending himself after several days' worth of her going after him and the above-mentioned folks. Boy, was my face red!
Other friends started a discussion with the woman and found that she was blaming Christian for Facebook glitches, claiming he was trying to keep her from posting (we're ALL having issues with Facebook right now), and saying some really crazy things. It became clear that she just isn't quite alright in the head here, and while the person who wrote back said some really nasty things, my sympathy level dropped to a very low level after seeing what was going on. I do feel sorry for her, as I think she has some issues that need resolving from within herself, and I hope she can find peace soon- without causing such uproars within the community.
So, lesson learned about jumping the gun there, and I'm grateful that Christian stopped me from making a fool of myself and getting people in an uproar when there was nothing to see there. He was not only being a peacemaker, but a really good friend. Thank you, Christian.
I will also say that I am very glad I don't live in Salem. It seems as if there is always some kind of drama going on in that town among the witches who live there. I don't know if it's the energy there or the people or some combination thereof, but frankly, that's just too much for me and I have never stepped foot in the town. I feel for the friends I have who do live in that area. I know some really lovely witches there.
And, the profound statement of "Oh Kallan. What have you gotten yourself into this time?" is something I can't ignore. Another friend last night said that she's concerned that I'm always fighting. That is true. Kallan means "strong in battle". I've always been someone who's had to fight.
When I was little, I was the playground defender- not by choice, but by request. The kids being picked on somehow decided that I was the person who could protect them, so they'd run to me when someone was being bullied. That pretty much sums up my entire elementary-high school experience- Defender of the Underdog.
I've had to fight to take care of my family as a single mom, and to defend my kids against some pretty big monsters in their lives. I've had to fight to keep us together, fight to make sure they had what they needed and fight to provide them with a home and stability.. and that extended on to my grandchildren when they were little as well.
My entire life I've been thrust into leadership positions that I didn't want. I can't join a group without eventually being the one that gets put in charge. The same thing happens in work situations. I can start out as an entry-level person, and the next thing I know, I'm put in a senior management position. If I start a project in which I want to just be part of something where we're all sort of an "autonomous collective" (to quote Monty Python), I end up not only being thought of as the leader, but blamed for everything that goes wrong as well, whether I really had anything to do with it or not. I am, at best, a reluctant leader; and yet, I can't seem to stop it from happening.
As my friend pointed out last night, I'm fighting against a calling to lead and to teach. I know it's what I should do, but it's why I haven't opened up the business I keep talking about. It's why I know there's a very specific book I'm supposed to write, and I can't make myself do it.
My friend told me that I was an elder and a leader whether I liked it or not. She said, "I think you would be happier if you embraced it." She's probably right. The Aquarian procrastinator in me is feeling a bit like Scarlett O'hara ("I'll think about that tomorrow"). But, I guess it's time to deal with it today.
By leading, I have to stop jumping in to the defense of every person who yells "bully", and to look at the bigger picture. Thankfully, I have friends like Christian to remind me of that.
Speaking of leadership, Christian also doesn't hold grudges. As he's said many times, some of his closest friends today were yesterday's enemies. That's something I need to learn to emulate as well. So, I'm working on that right now and have made friends with Edward Menten again (thanks, Ed!). I'm dropping the past and moving forward, and going to try to do this leadership thing.
I'm going to need all of you friends to help me do it right, ok?
Thanks again, Christian. You're a great friend and mentor to have around.